My Ex-Boyfriend’s Wedding

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Photo Credit: Kristyn Hogan

I walked my cheating ex-boyfriend‘s wife down the aisle and gave her away…. at least, that’s what happened in my dream.

Let me backtrack…

A few years ago, I dated a man who was essentially living a double life. I don’t know what else to call it. One where he was in a committed long-term relationship, shared a home, a life, a dog, sleepy Sundays and football with his family. The other, where he was a single philandering S.O.B.  He brought women to our house when I was at work, claimed that the hair bands on the bathroom door (and any other female paraphernalia) belonged to his sister as he complained about how he is such a “nice guy” who can’t seem to find someone.  He was a compulsive liar… a very convincing one at that. So much so, I’m convinced he’s a psychopath.

He was cheating on me. I wish I could tell you I didn’t know, but as women, we always know. We feel it. Guys aren’t as good at covering their tracks as they think they are. Continue reading

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3 Reasons Why Great Women Stay in Bad Relationships

I’m sure you have a friend — awesome, successful, beautiful, got it goin’– (maybe it’s you) that is dating that guy you perceive as a loser, when clearly, she could totally do better. Maybe you’ve already told her and she KNOWS the guy is bad news… So what’s keeping her there?  Good news is, she’s not entirely bat shit crazy. Here are some reasons why she hasn’t pulled the plug on Mr. Sexo-DeadBeat.

 

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Letter to: Mr. Duplicity

Hey Beautiful People!

Many times, friends reach out to me for advice.  I’m asked “What would you do in this situation?” or “What would you say to this person?”  To that end, I’m starting a “Dear Dani” segment where I either address the situation or draft a letter addressing the situation. The advice seeker can then use this information however they see fit (letter, email, in person, etc).

So let me give you the Q&D (Quick and Dirty) on today’s situation:

Dear Dani,

I met this guy and we had an instant connection.  The chemistry was off the charts.  Because of this connection, we kinda hooked up on the first night, which it so not like me and he claimed he wasn’t after that. I kind of gave in Continue reading

The Permeable Membrane

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Eat, Pray, Love

Image via Wikipedia

“Here’s what he doesn’t know yet. I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have it all. My money, my time, my body, my dog, my dog’s money…. I will assume your debts and project upon you all sorts of nifty qualities you’ve never actually cultivated in yourself. I will give you all this and more… until I am so exhausted and depleted, the only way I can recover is by becoming infatuated with someone else….” – from Eat, Pray, Love.

Are You Falling for the Current/Ex Lover Sob Story?

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Every man begins the relationship with certain cards up his sleeve — Aces — tools of seduction by which he lures a new woman.  Just when I think I’ve seen them all, these ever inventive creatures find new and creative ways to disarm and subsequently bed unsuspecting women.  

One of the most notorious examples is: The Current/Ex GF Sob Story. 

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Happier Alone…

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Un peu de Grey's Anatomy

Image by (e)Spry via Flickr

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone.  It wasn’t ’cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought that if I

loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.

It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? and then… it falls apart.  Can you even survive that kind of pain?

Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is… Death ends. This? It could go on forever…

-Meridith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

The search is OVER! You ARE Mr./Ms. Right…

Face it, Girl! Prince Charming is living with Mr. Right.

In reading a post on the new In Love and War Blog on a Woman’s Quest for Mr. Right, I discovered how truly misguided we are in our search for companionship.

Marcos writes:

“There are men out there that if given the chance, will treat you like queens but I bet some women will find that corny. Instead they want the guy that ends up breaking their hearts.”

Rosie writes:

“I agree with you on the idea that women find nice guys as the weaker link, realistically speaking there is nothing “hotter” than a good pursuit. Come on, a challenge is always more exciting. You know what I mean… that thrill of waiting by the phone to see if he’ll finally call after a week of waiting, the intrigue of whether or not he finds you to be irresistible, or after the first date wondering if he is dating others or if you are the only one in his life. It’s part of the game we all fall into and play at some point in our lives…”

I couldn’t help but comment on what can only be described as sensationalization. I can’t fathom that people really believe that women really want to get treated badly and that all nice guys are the weakest link.  All this circles back to my previous blog about being inherently masochistic when it comes to love.  I’d like to believe otherwise, but I digress… Continue reading

It hurts so good…

“Black, black, black and blue, beat me ’til I’m numb,
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you’re from.
Mad woman, bad woman, that’s just what you are,
Yeah, you’ll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car…” Continue reading